HALLOWEEN

First we went to the Pumpkin patch in the morning...rain, mud, muck, cold and all!

Then we went trick-or -treating, the kids got a ton of candy!

Next we went to a Halloween party at the church, which was a perfect place for Steve to win the "Most Original Costume" contest.

Steve was the hit of the party. Look! Helmet, backpack and everything.

Even the name tag...here is a closeup.

It was so funny, I've never seen Steve in a white shirt before. While we were trick-or-treating I would bust a gut everytime I looked over at him. He looked exactly like a Mormon missionary. He even had someone at the church party fooled.

Then it was home from the party, with TONS of candy...

Then Avrie passed out from complete exhaustion...

Yeah right!

I'm back!!!

I know its been 2 whole months since you were all able to listen to my rants and ramblings. But, I am back.
- Avrie lost her precious Elmo the other day, if he happens to have lost his way home and wandered into an unsuspecting house could someone please return him home. But alas, Aunt LeAnn came to the rescue, found an unappreciated Elmo wandering sadly through her home, so she decided to mail it our way. Avrie was concerned yesterday..."Mama, do you think Elmo is scared all by himself in the mail?" I assured her that lots of stuffed animals were probably being mailed at the exact same time and he probably has made a plethora of friends. She was quite relieved. Well, he arrived yesterday afternoon, and she slept like she hasn't slept all week. THANK YOU Aunt LeAnn!

-Cailin left the house for school this morning wearing...a teal t-shirt, jean shorts, tennis shoes and neon green socks! Lovely!

-Okay, now for my rant...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
This is what we are electing our Senators to do? Article in the Seattle Times says "Senators want more NFL games on TV" Are you freakin' kidding me? This is what is did not say...
Not, 'Senators band together to improve math curriculum in public schools'
Not "Senators want Doctors to stop prescribing medications just because they are on that particular pharmaceutical companies payroll'
Not 'Senators move to adopt World Health Organization standards in U.S. hospitals'
Not 'Senators look into the safety of the effects of the 33 immunizations pumped into our children's bodies before they are 15 months old, up from the 10 immunizations before their 5th birthday in 1983'
Not 'Senators look into corruption and lies within Child Protective Services'
Not 'Senators lobby to provide more funding for lower income public schools'
Not 'Senators adopt a program to provide parenting classes and services to low income families'

Oh no!!! "Senators want more NFL games on TV"
Are you serious? The sad thing, okay one of the more pathetic parts of this story is that this is not the first time Congress has been involved in this. Last year a group of Senators "sent a letter to the NFL, threatening to reconsider the league's antitrust exemption if it didn't make games on the NFL Network available to more viewers."
Again...are you kidding me????
More TV! basically these elected officials. Senators elected to improve the lives of their constituents are planning to do that by offering more...T.V!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, boneheads, that makes sense. That's a great way to improve the average American home life, get dead-beat dads more involved in their children's lives. Perfect, what a great idea you f!*#ing morons!!!!!!!!!!
I wont name each of the Senators involved but I will say you don't have any names like Sally, Anne, Sarah or Julie. More like Jack, Pete, Sheldon, Mike and John. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!
IDIOTS!!!

Facebook

The last couple of days I have found myself tripping, then stumbling and now SMACK, I just face planted myself right into Facebook.
I have no idea what Facebook is, what is does, what it means, what its for. I just have no idea. My friends have all explained it to me, I still don't get it. Now everyone is going to try to re-explain it to me. Ill listen, Ill try to understand, but know, upfront...I am Facebook retarded.
I now have 10 friends, but to be completely honest...they were my friends before Facebook, I suppose now they are my cyberfriends. That sounds like a PBS Saturday morning cartoon.
I will tell you one thing you can't do on Facebook, you can't stalk. That's right, its an all up in your face kind of bizarre cult. I can see little thumbprint pictures of my balding ex boyfriend, and my other ex boyfriend (who, BTW is using a totally old picture! He is not that thin anymore) and the guy I had a crush on, nope can't stalk him either. I have to actually admit to my creepy ways, fess up, and virtually come crawling back..."will you be my Facebook friend?".
It has a whole weird its not you its me but I want to still be friends vibe written all over it. I'm probably going to break down and shoot them an email at some point...pure curiosity. I have no bad feelings towards them, I don't even remember why I broke up with the one guy. Anyways, I digress.
So, all you Facebook cult members, tell me why you love Facebook so much. Because the whole no stalking thing threw me for a little loop, it lost a little bit of my excitement'.
Give me back that lovin' feeling!

To birth or not to birth...or where?

Conversation in the car with my 6 and 3 year old girls...



Cailin: Mommy, when you have another baby, where are you going to have it?

Me: You mean, where am I going to birth the baby?

Cailin: Yeah

Me: At home of course, where else would you have a baby?

Cailin: Well, you could have her at the beach!

Avrie: We could build sand castles and eat an icee!

Cailin: And play in the lake while you are having the baby.

Me: That would be slightly practical, fun and entertaining, but a little exposed.

Avrie: OH!! Or on the bus, you like the bus!

Cailin: It would be hard to get the birthing tub on the bus, and then all the water would splash around and get all the people wet. They probably wouldn't like that.

Me: That's true, its not fun to be wet on a bus.

Avrie: But we do like the bus...A LOT!

Me: We do enjoy riding the bus.

Avrie: How about daddy's work?

Cailin: Yeah, I bet daddy has a lot of friends at work that have never seen a baby born before, they would probably like to see our baby born. But it would be hard to carry the birthing tub up the stairs., and maybe they don't have a hose to fill it up, we would probably have to use buckets. That would take a long time, but Anthony could help.

Me: Yes, there are probably a lot of people at daddy's work that have never seen a birth before, but they might want to keep it that way and Anthony is very nice but...Hmmmm, my birth is not something I think I want to share with a lot of people, especially co workers of daddy's that I don't really know very well.

Avrie: Mommy, you have to share, you have to be nice, even with boys and girls you don't know.

Cailin: You could have the baby at Ruth's house, she would let you, she is having her baby there.

Avrie: Joshua told me I'm little, I don't want him to see my baby come out.

Me: Ruth is a very nice friend and if I absolutely needed to, she would probably let me, but it probably wont come to that. I think I prefer to have my baby at my own house.

Cailin: Fine, we were just trying to make it fun for you. I guess you're just going to have to have your baby at home like everyone else...boring!

The funny thing about this conversation except it being absolutely bizarre and the fact that I an NOT pregnant or planning on being pregnant, that while listening to them, I don't think they realize that babies are born in hospitals, and funnier still, It seems they think that all babies are born in water. I'm going to let my crunchy girls live in their tree hugging natural Utopian bubble, as long as I can.

Don't grow so fast

*She's weaned! A little over a week.
*I'm sad, still very sad.
*I think it's because I'm not pregnant this time around.
*I'm also happy, or at least content.
*It was completely her own decision.
*I feel like she is still such a baby, my baby.
*Deep inside I fear for her health, for the next time she gets sick.
*She still loves to cuddle up close to them, in the morning and at night.
*I've felt like less of a mom this past week, I hope that feeling goes away soon.
*Its my first break from nursing in 6 years, I miss it already.
*I'm getting teary eyed just writing this post.
*I've lost a part of who I am. The crazy lady who nurses her kids 'till they're 3.
*I know my kids have benefited physically, mentally and emotionally.
*I have to let go. I have to let go. I have to let go. I have to let go.
*There...it's gone...

Happy Weaning Avrie! You're a big girl now. I love you!

I'm from a family of list makers

On Saturday I had a whole slew (is that an actual word) of things to do and many different stores and places to do them in. So, naturally I made a list.
COSTCO- Milk
Pancake Mix
Eggs
Spinach Ravioli
I know, who goes to Costco for 4 things? I do. If I actually got everything we needed and would use and Steve saw that purchase on our Debit of $200...he would literally sh@# his pants. It makes absolutely no difference to him if we used every ounce of everything we bought, he does not like big purchases. No, I take that back. He doesn't like big perishable purchases. He has no problem whatsoever buying a $150...GPS system. Was is really $150? No! It was $200...was is really $200? No, it was $250. Finally the truth emerges as I give him one last chance while holding an enormous sharp kitchen knife (I was just chopping onions) okay okay okay, it was $299...I swear. (He says its for me, I guarantee it will enter my car maybe twice in the next 2 years) Anyways, I digress...on with my list.

POST OFFICE- Stamps (never purchased these, instead I used my $0.90 international stamps to mail a check to my friend 3 blocks away. Pathetic! )
Mail packages - I did almost all of this. I again used my $0.90 international stamps and guesstimated on the weight of each one. If none come back, I will then know I possess super powers to measure the weight or ANYTHING!! I didn't mail the package to my niece and nephew in France because then I would have had to go into the post office.

EXTRA - Easter dresses (dd this)
Church shoes
B-day gift for Rachel (did this)
B-day gift for Tyler (did this)
Easter basket gifts (I will have to accomplish this without the kids, our bunny just
gives a game and a chocolate bunny)
Mascara (did not do, how can I do this, it takes forever)
Toothpaste
Water bottle (I have absolutely no idea what this means. I wrote it, its in my
writing, it makes no sense. Hmmmm, maybe I was just thirsty
at the time I wrote this list, 1am Friday night, I bought a bottle of Aquafina and drank it)

GROCERIES - Syrup
grapes
apples
bananas (Safeway had NONE, not even in the back, was there some big freeze I didn't
hear about?)
rice
chocolate chips
Parmesan cheese (we go through this like its water, Avrie has a slight
obsession, I think we spend about $30/month on
Parmesan cheese)
drinking grocery store
lettuce
broccoli (yes, my kids eat it and strangely...love it)
yogurt (3 different kinds, one for me, one for Avrie, one for Cailin, complicated)
strawberries (on sale - 2 for 1)
red bell pepper

Okay, does something on the above list not fit, not make sense, is just bizarre? Yeah, I know...what the hell does "drinking grocery store" mean? There was absolutely no way to interpret that to make any kind of sense. Again, in my writing, in black and white, clear as day (that saying doesn't really work here in Seattle) To be able to decipher that into some sort of purchase would have taken some pretty savvy detective work. In the end I took it to mean buy 2 additional boxes of thin mint girl scout cookies from the miniature green and brown cookie pushers at the entrance to the grocery store. I thought that was safe detective work and nobody got hurt.

What's in a name?

Don't you hate it when you call someone by the wrong name?
Don't you hate it when you call someone by the wrong name twice?
Don't you hate it when you call someone by the wrong name three times?
Don't you hate it when you write someone a check with the wrong name on it?
Don't you hate it when you write them a second check with the wrong name on it again?
Don't you hate it when you blatantly introduce someone by the wrong name?
Now, wouldn't that suck if this all happened between you and a neighbor you have had for 2 years?
Guess what...it does suck!!!
Let me just reach down, grab my size 10 foot and clumsily shove it into my ridiculously inappropriate and socially awkward mouth.
And yet the story continues...
Continues? There was a story?
Yes, shut up and let me tell it!
So, my neighbor Christine...no Kimberly...no Christine...no Kimberly...lets just call her Eduardo, she came a ringin' on my doorbell to ask to borrow my vacuum cleaner. I then led her upstairs, introduced her with a completely incorrect name to my friend who was visiting. She (the neighbor) corrected me...for the 18th time (with a slight irritation in her voice...valid). I gave her my ridiculously heavy, but new vacuum to lug down my stairs and then back up hers. She asked if I needed it soon? Of course like all idiotic loaners do, I did the whole hand wave non complacent, slight giddy eye squint, head tilted slightly back and to the left "don't worry about it, use it as long as you need" gesture, my floors unfortunately at that very moment could have used a good run over with my good ole' friend Mr. Vacuum. She said she would return it the next morning. That was reasonable.
Saturday (the next day) - no vacuum return
Sunday - no vacuum return (Avrie has a small pile of dinner leftovers under her chair)
Monday - No vacuum
Tuesday -no vacuum (Avrie is now all set to open up a small restaurant underneath her chair)
Tuesday 8pm, I hear my neighbor leave so I run over to harass her teenage daughter for my
#@!* vacuum back. She nicely complies.
Why did I wait until my neighbor left before I went to ask for it back you ask? Refer to paragraph #1
Get it home. You can imagine my excitement. To hear all the dirt, food, crumbs, cat hair (did I mention we are cat sitting a cat), paper and all the other miscellaneous items left on my floor. The sound that makes, and then to go back over it again and hear the final filth going up...ahhhh like music to my ears.
BAM, BOOM, SMACK, JAB...go to use the hand held accessory, does not work AT ALL!! I took the vacuum completely apart...numerous times. I cant figure it out. So, now I have to take it to a repair place, they are going to charge me a butt load to fix it. Why am I paying for this and not my neighbor?
All because I cant remember her stupid name.
KIMBERLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!