Saturday, February 11, 2006

I found it

Okay people. I finally found the post office. Much easier in the dark. But, apparently 6th Street & 4th Avenue intersect eachother 3 times!! What the hell kind of sick twisted psychotic place do I live in? 3 times!!! The other thing about driving around here, the roads change names over and over and over again. I am suppose to find the intersection of 106th St. & 166th Ave. First I turn onto 119th St which then turns into 154th Avenue which then turns into 114th St. and then turns into 160th Avemue. At that point Im asking myself how is 160th Ave suppose to intersect with 166th Ave. Well, it doesnt, it then turns into 106th St, and then intersects with 166th Ave. Oh, you have to keep in mind, I have only traveled 0.3 miles. Yeah, that's right, not even 1/2 a mile. It's there own variation of a grid system, not too wise up here are they? Crazy town!
Change of subject. What is it about the site of baby poop and vomit that makes men instantly and completely useless. It almost stuns them and they have no idea what to do. Whereas women go into "fix the problem" mode. They just stare and dance around the pile of whatever bodily fluid that has just come out the baby. Avrie is the absolute worst to put a diaper on, it's like wrestling a baby goat, I should get a prize at the end. So, I let her be without a diaper for a whole of 2 minutes. During that 2 minutes she decided that was the perfect opportunity to let herself go. She pushed a whole pile of poop out right onto the carpet. I immediately grabbed her and threw her into the empty bathtub, and yelled for Steve. I'm not quite sure why I yelled for him. Maybe I was thinking that maybe, just maybe this one time he would act like the 6'3", 210 lb man that he is and help with the gross baby. But, of course no. He helped in the only way he knew how. He proceeded to sit on the toilet and instruct Avrie to please be a good 10 month old and not play in her own feces. He wouldn't even get close enough to the poop to turn on the bathtub. I realized at this point the only instruction (I hope) I could count on him to carry out was to make sure she didnt put any of it in her mouth. He actually succeeded in this, at least that is what he says. Completely useless. Good thing he's cute, I only keep him around to carry sleeping kids up to bed, pay the bills and the good sex.
Cailin has her first talk in church tomorrow. She is really excited! We have been practicing and I think she is going to do really well. I'll let y'all know!
Good night!

6 comments:

HLH said...

Oh Jenny, you really do crack me up! Ha Ha Ha. Aaron will NOT start the bath if there is poop on the child, he MUST wipe it off first. I am all about simply turning the water on and washing the poop down the drain and then starting the bath!

Hope Cailin's talk went well.

Sara said...

Yuck- I've had to clean Josh's poop off the carpet twice in the last month following just such a diaper changing scenario. And Scott thought it was rough helping Elizabeth with a minor pee accident last night! (Yes, the peed on shoes and socks sat in the diaper bag overnight before I quizzed them about what he did with them.) Men are not equipped to deal with human waste!

Steve said...

I'm completely insulted by this blog entry!!

... "good sex," I think not! I'm more in the range of giving great sex to fantastic sex!

Get it right Vergara!!

April Lady said...

Oh please Steve, a man that defends himself in the bedroom is pitiful. Haven't you noticed that she complains about your ability to communicate, clean poop and stay in the bed with the kids...not your abilitites as a sexual partner. Obviously there's nothing to complain about in that department, or believe me I would hear about it! I love you! Come Home Brat! I pisses me off that I hear all of these great things that Steve is doing while I'm stuck in AZ with no Jenny and my husband does something to make an ass out of himself almost daily! Perhaps if we moved he would magically change too, except for the whole dealing with human watse thing!

HLH said...

Jenny- I think steve is begging for an "ode to steve"....Aaron got one, but he whimpered that I even mentioned the word sex in the entry, I am to no longer mention his great sexual abilities or looks anywhere on the internet again. Whoops!

HLH said...

i meant woops as in I just mentioned it again (tounge in cheek)