Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Steve's grocery store adventure

First of all...

For those of you who know my husband Steve, he is not so great at navigating his way through a grocery store. We had some videos to return tonight, we had to return them tonight or they would be 3 days overdue instead of just 2 days, and if that happens we might as well just paid for the 5 day rental up front instead of the 1 day, but if we return them after 2 days, we only pay late fees for one day and it is still less than the initial 5 day rental. I'm glad you all understand that.
I was going to do the returning because I also needed to pick up some laundry detergent and dishwasher detergent at the grocery store. But Avrie was refusing to give up my nipple so I could take it along with me to the store and since it doesn't detach very well I was not free to run this errand. So, Steve had to go. I wasn't even going to ask him to pick up my 2 grocery items but did mention to him on his way out that a little dessert would be nice. Maybe a "Warm Delight". Has anyone had these? Yummmmm!! Chocolate gooey fudge cake, heated up nice and warm. Delicious!
Of course I get a call from Steve standing in the middle of an aisle at the grocery store. I always get a minimum of 2 calls every time I send him to the store, no matter what he is picking up. After looking for a few minutes he calls me, I tell him they are in the dessert aisle (he thinks that's the cookie aisle). Another call later I inform him it's the baking goods aisle. He goes up and down the aisle. Up and down, up and down. Another call later, he still can't find it. I tell him to ask. But at this point he has now been standing in the same aisle in his pajama bottoms, a leather jacket and clogs for a full 30 minutes just staring blank eyed like a mental patient. He has been humiliated enough for one night, so he buys some Hostess Cupcakes and comes home. I guarantee you tomorrow I will walk into that aisle and immediately find them. I thought it was hilarious.
This story is probably funnier to me than you because I am deliriously tired. I was awakened this morning at 5am by my 15 yr old blind cat taking a piss on my leg. Yes, you read that correctly. She didn't pee on my bed or on a pile of clothes she actually peed directly on top of my legs. This is not the first time she has peed on top of someone. She peed on my good friend Tia the first night after we had moved into our new apartment. We were watching a movie and just crawled right up onto her lap and let it go all over her. She has actually peed on Steve several times (he is usually the one she targets, I'm not sure why I was lucky enough to be chosen this very special time. I do so feel lucky and loved). Anyways, I stripped my pajamas off, layed on the floor nursed Avrie to sleep, went to the bathroom and when I came back in the bedroom found Avrie (10 months old) sitting up, happy as can be, ready to start her day. JOY!
Oh, I also spent the day with a crazy woman. Someone I just met through someone else. She told me all about her abusive childhood, her controlling husband, her past drug abuse. I listened to her list every ailment that plagues her from depression to anxiety to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to Headaches. She listed off her medications, Anti depressants, Anti Anxiety Meds, Sleeping Pills...Oh, she is also the mother to a 5 month old. Scary! She was actually nice but not a person I want to add to my friendship plate. I'll tag her as an acquaintance. Someone I wave at across the mall parking lot and then frantically lock all 4 doors of my car.
Okay, I'm going to bed now because I am falling asleep as I type.
Good night!!


HLH said...

that's pretty funny Jenny. FYI to Steve, usually somwhere up high suspended from the ceiling in all grocery stores is an index of basic items that tells you what isle they are on...might help him next time :)

HLH said...

oops, I think I meant aisle