Saturday, July 14, 2007

What I dont want to know about the stranger sitting next to me in the pizza parlor...

Her period is almost 2 weeks late...
She has been having sex 2-3 times a day for the past 2 months...
She likes sex on the floor more than the bed...
She has horrible diarrhea...
Her urine smells like corn nuts...
Pepperoni gives her terrible gas...
She has had 3 yeast infections this year already...
She is very itchy and it burns when she pees...
She thinks she has another yeast infection right now...
She doesn't feel well (needs to use the restroom)...
Her period just started...
Everyone is relieved (I guess she wasn't trying to get pregnant)...
Tomorrow her boyfriend (who apparently is wayyyy too serious about college) is returning from a 3 month stay in Peru...

I wonder if her friend will ever ask her to lunch again?
I wish her boyfriend read my blog.

3 comments:

heather said...

Ha! You always have the most colorful stories!

Wonder what the table next to us thought the night we were at Buca De Beppo's for your good-bye Christmas dinner a few years ago!

JRV said...

I think we were much more quiet. And there is just something different about 3 girlfriends chatting about sex than a 20 something girl LOUDLY telling her obviously uncomfotable male lunch companion about her female problems.

April Lady said...

I once heard a woman on her cell talking to her friend about whether to spit or swallow. It took all of my energy to just walk past her without laughing. We were in dollartree none the less. Don't people realize that nearly everyone has ears that work and if you speak near them, they will hear you! Geesh!