Thursday, February 25, 2010

Dear Tax Client:

I do not want ...
-every medical co pay receipt from the past year, add them up, give me 1 number
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-your Walgreens receipts from your purchases of Advil, Tylenol, Mucinex and Vagisil
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-receipts and detailed descriptions of every home improvement made over the past year...here is an interesting piece of information...HOME IMPROVEMENTS ARE NOT DEDUCTIBLE!!
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-Target reciepts from makeup purchases, with a little handwritten note on top that says "medical" - Makeup is not "medical" under any circumstances
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-school uniform receipts, your kids clothes...seriously, NOT deductible
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a box of any kind (shoe box, big box, small box, medium box, cereal box, gift box) filled with receipts, I dont want your damn box!
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a plastic Safeway bag filled with receipts
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a large manila envelope filled with receipts
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a 3 ring binder filled with receipts, even if its organized...I dont want it!
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-bits of food in any of your paperwork
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-used tissues wadded up in the middle of your W-2s
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-to smell like an ashtray after doing your taxes

I do want...
-1 number for medical
-a working phone number
-1 number for prescriptions
-a working phone number
-all your w-2s, please do not try to guess at this
-a working phone number
-the name of all of your children you claim...and their birthdays and SSNs
-a working phone number
-information about your name changing!
-a working phone number
-if its not too much to ask...an email address
-at least a working phone number

Ugh, I need to go to bed!! Happy Tax Season

9 comments:

Heather said...

hee hee. i'm guessing that wrong phone numbers are a bit of a problem?!

makeup as a medical expense, I'll laugh over that one for a while!!

aimee said...

i didn't even know you did taxes. Where have I been?

I try to make it easy for my tax person. You would like me. No tissues or boxes.

JRV said...

My dad is an accountant. I got sucked in. We grew up with it, its unfortunately in my blood.

H said...

555-1234

April said...

Ha Ha Ha! I am so glad to be getting a break this year. I do not miss that garbage! I'm sad you ruined our fun movie night with tax crap. Hope you had pleasant Leo dreams like me. Sigh!

Sara said...

Hilarious, Jenny. I'll make sure to clean all the food off our W2's before I bring them in. ;-)

alisha said...

Lol. Sounds very exciting. I was just listening to someone the other day talk about some things they were planning to deduct that clearly did not qualify.

Good thing you're getting a vacation as soon as tax season is over. :) Can't wait.

LeAnn said...

I am laughing so hard. I have seen every single thing you listed!!

Servant of the Most High said...
This comment has been removed by the author.