Dear Tax Client:

I do not want ...
-every medical co pay receipt from the past year, add them up, give me 1 number
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-your Walgreens receipts from your purchases of Advil, Tylenol, Mucinex and Vagisil
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-receipts and detailed descriptions of every home improvement made over the past year...here is an interesting piece of information...HOME IMPROVEMENTS ARE NOT DEDUCTIBLE!!
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-Target reciepts from makeup purchases, with a little handwritten note on top that says "medical" - Makeup is not "medical" under any circumstances
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-school uniform receipts, your kids clothes...seriously, NOT deductible
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a box of any kind (shoe box, big box, small box, medium box, cereal box, gift box) filled with receipts, I dont want your damn box!
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a plastic Safeway bag filled with receipts
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a large manila envelope filled with receipts
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-a 3 ring binder filled with receipts, even if its organized...I dont want it!
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-bits of food in any of your paperwork
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-used tissues wadded up in the middle of your W-2s
-a disconnected or wrong phone number
-to smell like an ashtray after doing your taxes

I do want...
-1 number for medical
-a working phone number
-1 number for prescriptions
-a working phone number
-all your w-2s, please do not try to guess at this
-a working phone number
-the name of all of your children you claim...and their birthdays and SSNs
-a working phone number
-information about your name changing!
-a working phone number
-if its not too much to ask...an email address
-at least a working phone number

Ugh, I need to go to bed!! Happy Tax Season