I want a MAC!!!

I am about 2 seconds away from watching this computer fly through my 2 story window. I'm also pretty close to threatening my husband with purchasing a MAC and saying adios to this piece of crap PC.
It has had a permanent error message for the past 6 months every time the computer is turned on. We do nothing except minimize it and continue on our way. The only thing this error message accomplishes is making me feel like a complete idiot for tolerating it on a daily basis and reminding me that my husband is smart in a lot of areas, accomplished and talented in many things. Computers and cars...these are not his fortes!
Our computer is now as slow as a Seattle driver making a right turn. But only 75% of the time. The other 25% of the time a huge beam of light shines down on me from above allowing me to check my email, blogs, yahoo groups and a couple sites before it starts to rain all over my parade and starts taking 1 million minutes to open up a dumb email.
Just now, as I was attempting to do some research on vacuums, our 13 year old cleaning machine croaked, he had a good life, its time to move on, something more powerful, fancier, safer with all its parts and no duct tape on the cord. I digress...
When I went to type in the URL, the Internet completely shut off, I tried it over and over and over and over and over....then I noticed, if I type the URL v..e..r..y s..l..o..w..l..y then it would work. This is the dumbest problem I have ever encountered on a computer. Then even when I was typing in my password for Blogger, when I typed fast, there goes my Internet. When I typed slow, it worked. Bizarre.
I hate computers (I love them) I hate computers (I love them) I hate computers (I love them)...
To top it off, when I picked up the phone to call my computer savvy brother...my phone instantaneously died!

Nothing like a good ole' fashion PB & J...

and sour cream!!!!

At least she was prepared

Cailin finally decided she was finished with our family and she was moving on. She quietly gathered her essential items, tiptoed up the stairs, gingerly waved goodbye to me and left. She actually got farther than I thought she would and was much braver than I had anticipated. She was holding her emotions intact, she was not overly irate nor sad. That is until I yelled to her..."I hope you find a sweet family with a mom that helps you make cookies every week and reads to you every night." That was the clincher, she broke down in exasperated cries.

She is now home, downstairs watching a movie and eating a Popsicle. I guess she has decided we are not so bad after all. She might be able to tolerate us a little longer, at least until the end of the week.

But, at least she was prepared. I mean, when you are on the run, living on the streets, trying to survive, of course what the #1 item you will need?... golf clubs. If she just got the hankerin' to start putting, she was ready. Actually I don't think she thought she was going to be on the streets too long, earning a living as a coffee grinder monkey or maybe perhaps demonstrating her latest Sprocket style of dancing on the corner of Pike & 4th for pocket change. But in fact, she had packed a cardboard door hanger that she had made, she obviously had thought this out much more carefully than I assumed. She apparently was going somewhere cold, with a door, plenty of food, and a putting green. Sounds luxurious, I'm sure she would have been just fine.

What I dont want to know about the stranger sitting next to me in the pizza parlor...

Her period is almost 2 weeks late...
She has been having sex 2-3 times a day for the past 2 months...
She likes sex on the floor more than the bed...
She has horrible diarrhea...
Her urine smells like corn nuts...
Pepperoni gives her terrible gas...
She has had 3 yeast infections this year already...
She is very itchy and it burns when she pees...
She thinks she has another yeast infection right now...
She doesn't feel well (needs to use the restroom)...
Her period just started...
Everyone is relieved (I guess she wasn't trying to get pregnant)...
Tomorrow her boyfriend (who apparently is wayyyy too serious about college) is returning from a 3 month stay in Peru...

I wonder if her friend will ever ask her to lunch again?
I wish her boyfriend read my blog.

Wake up wake up wake up wake up!!!

Exercising was a 'no go'...went to bed at 2am, woke up at 8:40am. We'll try this again in 2 days. These ladies might just be the downfall of my lean, thin body!

Good morning to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey and smell like one too!

Tomorrow, or as I just noticed today (it's past midnight) I am going to rip my sleeping, anticipatingly (is that a word?) grumpy kids out of bed at 7:45am to go work out. For some bizarre reason that has to do with schedules, day wasting and other tedious things such as swim lessons and day camp the women I exercise with have all decided to move our workout from 9:30am to 8am for the summer. I hesitantly agreed because everyone else in our group was so annoyingly joyous over this change. These are probably also the same women who have children that miraculously end up in bed before the hour of 11pm even though the sun is bright as midday, and go to bed sweetly and together with their husbands as the church bell chimes 10pm, able to drift into sweet dreams because their house is clean, dishes are done with no worries in their pretty little heads. Have they not seen me clumsily stumble into the gym exasperated every Tuesday and Thursday 15 minutes late to an already early class in my mind, 9:30am. Do they think the pressure of an hour and a half less of a morning is somehow going to lull me into a deep sleep sometime before 2am or propel me and my 2 night owls out of bed at 7:30am? Hmmmmm, not likely. So, now my workout has been disagreeably cut from 1 hour to 30 minutes because I guarantee I will NEVER be there on time. But in the end it works out because I am now going to have to wash my face, brush my teeth, get dressed and run up and down 2 flights of stairs repeatedly as I forget one thing after the other trying to make it out the door on time, while the entire time one-arming a nursing 2 year old. My workout will end up being quite effective.